March 17th, 2017
I am going to share with you my messed up, completely
irrational long held belief. My Mom
would never pass away. True story. I believed
it right up until the end. Like I said, a tad unrealistic. So, when Eric approached me in February about
funeral pre-planning for Mom, I would not hear of it. I shot him down every time he softly broached
the subject. Why would I ever need to
talk or figure out that stuff, when Mom was going to live forever.
Mom was doing well at the nursing home. She was a master at playing bingo. She was
eating. She was moving. She was perfect. Who would need to plan for the end when life
was full of rainbows and sunshine. Have I mentioned that I was living in an
awesome fantasy land? Eric did not give up,
yet he made sure not force the issue. Having
lost both of his parents, he knew what would happen. I did not.
I finally caved when he used logic against me. He said “Many years from now, I do not want
you to have to go through any of this. All I am asking is that we hear what
they have to say and gather information.”
Information gathering. I conceded.
Our first trip to a funeral home was made the week before
March 17th, It was a widely recognized funeral chain. The two women we sat down with were not from
our city. The funeral home had brought
in some closers from the big city. In
the hour that followed, my despair for having to deal with planning a funeral,
warped into anger. When you take away the
fact, that the two sales people were short on empathy, and they lacked
knowledge of the city they were in but seemed to have no issue with the hard
sell, I realized that the funeral industry is a business, just like any other
business. I went into corporate mode with
my calculator out. I took notes while
asking questions while they kept telling me to sign now as prices could go up
later that day. With their plan, I would
end up paying a monthly amount that would end up costing over 20K. It was hard to get a
straight answer on what the amount would be if I paid in full right away. They
seemed to like the whole, pay monthly with a whole lot of interest, for a long,
long, time plan. That’s not how I roll.
This brings us to the afternoon of March 17th,
2017. Eric and I visited funeral home number two. The funeral director had done
his research. He knew about Mom. He had a package laid out that made sense and
would make Mom proud. I was in awe. He was caring, efficient and on point. In
less than 20 minutes, we had the entire funeral planned. During our meeting I
allowed myself to be in the moment. I found myself sad, and a bit scared. What if my belief that my Mom living forever
was a fantasy? As if on cue, Eric looked at me and smiled. “Mom is strong and if anyone can get through
this, she will. But I am glad that this is one thing we will not have to worry
about, years from now.”
We left the funeral home and I felt a tiny bit of relief. I would not have to think about this topic
ever again. Eric was proud of me and I was content. We moved on from that
meeting to St Patrick Day’s festivities. Five months later my Mom, Juliet Betancourt,
passed away.
Looking back, I realize that Eric was right. He had
foresight. I am eternally grateful for him and to him.
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